SiZING

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 Enlisted men were not issued tailored garments in the 18th century. They were issued one garment, and if it didn’t fit, they had to find another enlisted man to trade with. We want to send you a garment that fits the first time, so please follow these simple instructions. We understand the sizes of humans, and if you send us something weird, such as waist 66 length 23, we must delay your order until it can be clarified, because humans just don’t come in that size.  

!!!!!! “M”, “L,” and XL” ARE ROMAN NUMERALS, NOT MEASUREMENTS!!!!! 

WAIST 

Most men use the waist size marked on a pair of pants as their waist measurement, and it is ALWAYS wrong, because (1) different pants manufacturers across the globe over the past 50 years have different understandings of the length of an inch, and (2) your waist is at your belly button, NOT just above your pubes and hidden under/supporting your (ever expanding) gut. The only way we can get you a properly sized garment is if you MEASURE YOUR WAIST. This requires a TAPE MEASURE, available at any general store for about $1.00. Don’t use a metal one, nor a ruler/yardstick. Don’t pull the tape too tight. Just snug is right. MEASURE AROUND YOUR WAIST AT YOUR BELLY BUTTON! DON’T GUESS! MEASURE AROUND YOUR WAIST AT YOUR BELLY BUTTON! 

INSEAM LENGTH 

Using the TAPE MEASURE, measure from where your scrotum attaches down the INSIDE of your leg to the ankle bone, which is on the inside of your ankle and sticks out. For those with no scrotum, we rely on your understanding of the local geography for the starting point.  

CHEST 

Once again using the TAPE MEASURE, measure your circumference at the level of your nipples. Don’t pull the tape too tight. Just snug is right. MEASURE AROUND YOUR CHEST AT YOUR NIPPLES! DON’T GUESS! MEASURE AROUND YOUR CHEST AT YOUR NIPPLES! DON’T GUESS! 

You only have to do this once, and females enjoy doing it for you.  

MEASURE! DON’T GUESS! MEASURE! DON’T GUESS! MEASURE! DON’T GUESS!